i like it that you know, God

i like it that you know, God.

you know what's going on, you know what's ahead
you know that i worry, but should trust what you said
you know all the details, you know what will occur
you know what i don't, and of that i am sure.

you know i believe your promises, and i trust your word
you know i love to talk to you because i'm always heard
you know i wonder of your plans, i wonder everyday
you know when i'm confused and don't know what to say

you know all about me, you know how i work
you know my insecurities and all my little quirks
you know my secrets and you know my fears
you know all my pain and collect all my tears

you know the plans you have for me
you know just how good they'll be
you know what you'll have me do
you know me, Lord, i love you

God created us to care.

Sometimes I wonder why we have to care so much. If we didn't care, no one would hurt us. If we didn't care, we would protect ourself from disappointment. But for me, I can't just not let things affect me. I can try to ignore it when things or people hurt my feelings, I can try to block it out, but no matter how hard I try, it's there. The part of me that does feel.That does care. That says...this MATTERED to me. And if it hadn't been for the person who said something or did something...or DIDN'T say anything or DIDN'T do anything...I wouldn't have been so discouraged, confused, or down on myself.

So why is it that people somehow have the power to bother us? I mean, we can choose whether we want it to bother us or not, but regardless people have the potential to make us feel things. I hate the hard part of that...the part that means as a result, we can feel angry, rejected, or crushed. But if we weren't created to care about relationships...which is what it all comes down to, relationships...then we wouldn't be able to experience love. Darn it. But the people we love the most can also hurt us the most. So there really is no way to care and get away without ever being hurt. Because when you care about someone, when you love them...and they love you back...then even the smallest thing can cause deep wounds. But if it were a stranger on the street who said or did the same thing, we could probably care less.

Loving people is hard. Jesus is love and we are told to love one another. The kind of love that means you love someone with all your heart--YOU CARE--even if it's not returned. Why would we want to do that? Why would you want to care about someone who doesn't care about you? It doesn't make sense. Seriously. But then I remember God's love for me doesn't make sense either. And I think about how He must feel when I ignore Him. He's telling me to trust Him, to follow Him, but I want to do my own thing and go my own way. Even though He knows best. Or the times I sin, and turn against Him. Yet His love is unchanging. So even in God's unconditional love, He knew we would hurt Him. But it didn't change His love for us. My mind just can't comprehend a love like that. But I know it's true, and I know it's real, and I believe in it [Him].

And if I'm following Him, and following His example, I've got to remember this: I've got to remember that love would be impossible in a world void of pain. God created us to care, whether we like it or not. Because relationships are important to Him. Relationships with each other and relationship with Him. That's what life is about. And for all the times you express you care through your actions, day in and day out, and it's not noticed or acknowledged or returned...for me, I just have to believe that God is working on me, He's making me more into who He wants me to be, and I just can't give up. He's producing something in me that might not ever come about through any other way. It means I have to die to self and focus on living for Him, doing what He wants me to do. Love. It sure is hard to love.